An Update.

Hey Everyone!

Its been forever I know. It seems I keep lying about updating more, so I'm not going to tell you I'm going to update more. But what I will tell you is: God is awesome! Though I don't understand the reason behind things most of the time, I still trust in him. It seems I'm just living life at the moment, which is better than the not living life alternative, but far from where I want to be. Which isn't always a bad thing either though. I have my own place now, and its nice, lonely alot of the time, but the Lord is with me. I still haven't got all the boxes unpacked, and at this rate I probably never will lol. Some good news is I may be getting a new job soon, which means more money, and even better more time to spend at church. Having the weekends off helps alot when you are trying to make conferences and fellowship meetings and extra services. Someone asked me tonight, what I felt my calling was in, and I couldn't tell them. I couldn't tell them if I was wanting to go to the mission field, to evangelise, or pastor. honestly I don't know where I want to go, or where I feel to go. I know I want to work for the Lord, I know I want to serve him to the best of my ability, but I don't know how. Its scary for me to not know what I'm suppose to be doing for sure. It seems everyone else has a good idea what they want to do, but I seem to have everything together on the front, so that doesn't tell you much I know. I keep telling myself that this is a good place to be, that if I don't know what I want, my wants can't interfere with what God wants me to do. If I seek him enough, He'll let me know. I have no doubts that I'm suppose to be under Bro Smith, He's an awesome pastor, I love him very much. I'm receiving training here and guidance that I can't get anywhere else and perhaps out of this will the ministry the Lord has giving me will blossom. Like I said I trust God, but I don't understand him. No one does I know. I should be on fire right now, I just got through preaching, and It went well. I said what I felt like I needed to say, I felt the annointing, but I'm still hurting. It seems that the Lord can encourage everyone else through me, but I have the hardest trouble leting him encourage me. I know its possible, David did it. I know it wasn't easy. Just something I've got to work on. I don't even know why I'm putting this on here, I started to put the sermon I preached tonight on here, and I probably still will, just not tonight. I'm not asking for sympathy, or even great verbal concern, I'm just asking for your prayers.

I love you all. God bless.

Jerald