Yesterday, Today, Tommorrow, God stays the same

There are no words to describe how I feel right now. I keep smiling, because I have a reason to smile, I'm alive, and God is still on the throne. I keep laughing because I have a reason to laugh, the Joy of the Lord is my strength. I keep crying, because I have a reason to cry. But I'm not alone, no matter how I feel. Jesus is with me, to hold me, to keep me, to guide me, to shield me, He truly is everything I need. Life is changing everything around me. I see it, I know it, I feel it, but I am having to learn to embrace it. I see myself, how busy I am, how I can hear the hurt in my father's words when I tell I can't come home right now, and he says ok, he understands. It kills me, when I know exactly how he feels and there is nothing either of us can do about it. Its not the real world that is hard. Everyone talks about the cold hard world, and having to pay bills, and being grown up. Its not being grown up thats hard, its growing up, the transition phase that is the toughest. I'm just having to hang on to Jesus, with all my might, all my soul, all my strength, with all my heart. God does not change no matter how much time passes, he stays the same. Time is a funny thing, seems change is always connected with time. They say, that time can heal all things, especially broken hearts. Its funny how God uses time for healing. But time can be destructive too. If you stay in a state for an amount of time too long, you can be turned over to reprobate. God I don't want to be a victim of Time. Decisions, I have had to make some of the hardest choices of my life in the last couple of days. To live for God is an easy choice, you see clearly the benifits, you see clearly the costs, you see clearly the outcomes if you do or don't. But to make a choice, without clearly seeing the benifits, without clearly seeing the costs, without clearly seeing the outcomes if you do or don't do the action takes faith. It can be painful, it can knock you down to your knees, but granted, thats where we all probally need to be. Faith because you can't see, and faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. It is not seen yet, but it will be seen. I have faith, that the end will be better than the begining, I have faith that those things that I have hoped for will not be lost, but will be given unto me. Because faith is the substance of those things. Though life has its share of pain, its share of failure, its share of embarrassment. It is still worth living! What would this world do without people who love God, trying their best to fulfill the calling that God has placed on every believers life to spread the gospel?! I found out today that a person that I work with is backslid, and has been for years and has recently moved here from Iowa. Perhaps I'm the instrument to show her that you can't run from God, He is everywhere looking for us. Whether we feel like we deserve to know him or not, and believe me, I don't know why God called me, I don't know why he cares for me, but I'm thankful he does. David said it like this in the 139th psalm. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, it is High, I cannot attain unto it. What will happen to this lady, if I don't tell her that God still loves her?! Yes Life has its problems and pain, but It has more abundant Joy! It has Peace that surpases all understanding! This life has those moments that puts chills up and down you and make you feel like life is so wonderful and it truly is. Yes, storms do come, but without rain, where would the flower be? I wouldn't be here. Jesus I know you don't change! I know you are with me, no matter where I am at. You are the rock, that does not erode, that does not wither away, that remains the same. Upon this rock I place my life, its all in your hands God. Give me life, and life more abundantly, both in this life, and the one to come. Take me and mould me and shape me into the vessle you want. I am yours God, I love you and there is not other way to describe it.

I'm sorry for the randomness, and the length, I'm just writing what comes to my heart. I love y'all! God Bless

Jerald